That Pet Shop Sketch
by Artemis Blink
Summary: A Monty Python and Digimon crossover. Mimi and Sora are the pet shop people. You'll see. I made it R for the heck of it. It's more of a PG for silliness. R


A/N- I'm a huge "Monty Python's Flying Circus" fan. I was watching the Pet Shop   
sketch an kept picturing the 02 Mimi and Sora as the customer and owner. So, I made   
a silly fic of it. A MP/Digimon crossover.  
  
Disclaimer: I do not own Monty Python (Python (Monty) Pictures Ltd.) or Digimon   
(Toei Animation)  
  
**That Pet Shop Sketch** by Artemi§blink.  
  
Sora enters a pet shop with a cage. "Hello, I wish to register a complaint." She puts   
the cage on the counter.  
  
The owner, who is Mimi, does not respond.  
  
"Hello, Mister?"  
  
"What do you mean 'mister'?" she demands as she turns around.  
  
"I'm sorry, I have a cold. I wish to make a complaint!" Sora says.  
  
"We're closin' for lunch," Mimi says.  
  
"Never mind that. I wish to complain about this Biyomon what I purchased not half an   
hour ago from this very store."  
  
"Oh yes, the, uh, the Biyomon...What's,uh...What's wrong with it?" Mimi asks.  
  
"I'll tell you what's wrong with it. She's dead, that's what's wrong with it!"  
  
"No, no, she's uh,...she's resting," Mimi explains.  
  
"Look, I know a dead Biyomon when I see one, and I'm looking at one right now,"   
Sora says.  
  
"No no she's not dead, she's, she's restin'! Remarkable bird, the Biyomon, idn'it, she?   
Beautiful pink plumage!"  
  
"The plumage don't enter into it. It's stone dead."  
  
"Nononono, no, no! She's resting!" Mimi says for the hundreth time.  
  
"All right then, if she's restin', I'll wake her up!" Sora turns to the cage and shouts   
into it. "Hello, Miss Biyo Biyomon! I've got a lovely fresh cuttle fish for you if you   
show..."  
  
Mimi hits her hand hard against the gage. "There, she moved!"  
  
"No, she didn't, that was you hitting the cage!"  
  
"I never!!"  
  
"Yes, you did!" Sora yells.  
  
"I never, never did anything..."  
  
Sora starts yelling and hitting the cage repeatedly. "HELLO BIYO!!!!! Testing! Testing!   
Testing! Testing! This is your nine o'clock alarm call!"   
  
She takes Biyomon out of the cage and thumps its head on the counter. Then she   
throws it up in the air and watches it plummet to the floor.  
  
"Now that's what I call a dead Biyomon," she says.  
  
"No, no.....No, she's stunned!" Mimi says.  
  
"STUNNED?!?" Sora screeches.  
  
"Yeah! You stunned her, just as she was wakin' up! Biyomons stun easily."  
  
"Um...now look...now look, Mimi, I've definitely had enough of this. That Biyomon is   
definitely deceased, and when I purchased it not half an hour ago, you assured me   
that its total lack of movement was due to it being tired and shagged out following a   
prolonged spiral twister and squwak."  
  
"Well, she's...she's, ah...probably pining for the fjords."  
  
"PININ' for the FJORDS?!?!?!? What kind of talk is that? Look, why did she fall flat on   
her back the moment I got her home?"  
  
"Biyomon prefers keepin' on it's back! Remarkable bird, id'nit, Sora? Lovely plumage!"  
  
"Look, I took the liberty of examining that Biyomon when I got it home, and I   
discovered the only reason that it had been sitting on its perch in the first place was   
that it had been NAILED there!"  
  
There's a pause between the two girls.   
  
"Well, o'course she was nailed there! If I hadn't nailed that bird down, it would have   
nuzzled up to those bars, bent 'em apart with its beak, and VOOM! Feeweeweewee!"  
  
Mimi makes a gesture with her arm of a bird "VOOM! Feeweeweewee!"ing off.  
  
"'VOOM'?!? Mimi, this bird wouldn't 'voom' if you put four million volts through it!   
She's fricken demised!"  
  
"No no! She's pining!" Mimi says again.  
  
"She's not pinin'!" Sora yells. "She's passed on! This Biyomon is no more! She has   
ceased to be! She's expired and gone to meet her maker! She's a stiff! Bereft of life,   
she rests in peace! If you hadn't nailed her to the perch she'd be pushing up the   
daisies! Her metabolic processes are now history! She's off the twig! She's kicked the   
bucket, She's shuffled off her mortal coil, run down the curtain and joined the fricken   
choir invisibile!! THIS IS AN EX-BIYOMON!!  
  
There's another pause between the girls.   
  
"Well, I'd better replace it, then," Mimi says. She takes a quick peek behind the   
counter. "Sorry Sora, I've had a look around the back of the shop, and uh, we're right   
out of Biyomons."  
  
"I see. I see, I get the picture."  
  
There's a pause and Mimi says, "I got a slug."  
  
There's yet another pause.   
  
Sora, in a sweet-as-sugar voice, says, "Say, does it talk?"  
  
Mimi looks at her feet and quietly says, "Nnnnot really."  
  
"WELL IT'S HARDLY A FRICKEN REPLACEMENT, IS IT?!!???!!?" Sora exploded.  
  
"N-no, I guess not," Mimi says. She gets ashamed, looks at her platform boots.  
  
"Well."  
  
There's yet another pause.  
  
Breaking the scilence, Mimi says quietly, "D'you.... d'you want to come back to   
my place?"  
  
Sora looks around, shrugs, and says, "Yeah, all right, sure."  



End file.
